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i need vent space...once again.
A year away and this is how I start it up. Of course.
WHY am I always the "dependable" one? Where are people when I need them? Why is it okay for me to spend so much energy listening to everyone's problems, being supportive and taking time to call/text and say "hi" but I never get the same care in return? I'm sick of attempting to hang out only to find out they've made other plans that apparently I wasn't let in on due to the fact that they're too lazy to pick up a phone. I feel like I'm acting like a catty junior high girl, but really... I want 50/50 friendships, not 99/1. I'm not flighty when it comes to this stuff. Even though we have little to nothing in common anymore, I'm still friends with people from elementary school. Why? Because they understand the idea of reciprocity.
So why can't I find anyone why gets that concept?
Long story short, I'm sick of having my feelings stepped on and self-esteem ripped to shreds. I know I'm not that exciting of a person...I'm not gorgeous, rich or popular...but I'm nice damn it and that has to count for something.
Of course there are a few exceptions to the above, but I *really* care about her. It just sucks not to feel it back.
WHY am I always the "dependable" one? Where are people when I need them? Why is it okay for me to spend so much energy listening to everyone's problems, being supportive and taking time to call/text and say "hi" but I never get the same care in return? I'm sick of attempting to hang out only to find out they've made other plans that apparently I wasn't let in on due to the fact that they're too lazy to pick up a phone. I feel like I'm acting like a catty junior high girl, but really... I want 50/50 friendships, not 99/1. I'm not flighty when it comes to this stuff. Even though we have little to nothing in common anymore, I'm still friends with people from elementary school. Why? Because they understand the idea of reciprocity.
So why can't I find anyone why gets that concept?
Long story short, I'm sick of having my feelings stepped on and self-esteem ripped to shreds. I know I'm not that exciting of a person...I'm not gorgeous, rich or popular...but I'm nice damn it and that has to count for something.
Of course there are a few exceptions to the above, but I *really* care about her. It just sucks not to feel it back.
